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« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2005, 12:43:18 PM » |
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It might look a bit messed up here, but if you want the word document in proper format, which is much easier to read IMO, just send my a PM with you're e-mail adress.
My Boss is an Alien from Outer Space Screenplay by Jonathan Starr
Thursday, June 9th, 2005
EXT. MAGICAL FOREST ñ CAVE ENTRANCE - DAY
A man in a simple white collar stripped shirt and tie is wielding a sword and a shield as he walks through this beautiful misty, supernatural looking forest. Plants are purple and green and yellow, mist seems to come from the trees, strange creatures run around everywhere, it looks to be daytime, but itÃÂs still very dark and gloomy.
The man with the sword finds an entrance to a large and dark cave. Inside it appears to be bright by fire.
You can hear a woman SCREAMING and fire EXPLODING.
The man creeps up to the cave carefully.
MAN IÃÂm coming Fiora!
He runs into the cave, itÃÂs huge and deep, with a turn near the end. Suddenly, from that corner, a huge dragon walks in with LOUD FOOTSTEPS. The dragon looks at the man and puffs out a puff of smoke.
The man look terrified when suddenly the dragon breathes fire towards the man. We follow in the fire along for a ride as it rushes towards the man and it hitÃÂs his shield which he brought up to protect him.
Everything is engulfed in flames as we FLASH CUT TO:
INT. OFFICER BUILDING ñ CUBICLE ñ DAY
The man we saw in the previous scene, whoÃÂs name is HAL, is wearing the same thing, the white collar stripped shirt and tie and has his head on his desk, sleeping.
Small pieces of metal keep hitting him, which makes him flinch each time. He finally snaps his head up from his sleep and looks at the man doing it in disgust.
HAL Quit it!
Another man in a white collar shirt and tie, named WILL, is chewing gum and is holding a stapler, shooting Hal with the staples. He stops.
WILL Did you get the new memo?
HAL What memo?
A girl named Cindy, and a guy named Paul walk up to HalÃÂs cubicle.
CINDY The one about the new cover pages we have to use for the income DP documents.
PAUL This is god damn annoying. Jerry is getting out of control, changing system procedures here, switching document DP covers. WhatÃÂs next? He acts like he owns this place.
A beat.
HAL Is this what you guys always thought you would end up doing in life?
CINDY Here we go again.
HAL I mean I always thought I would be traveling the world, become a famous writer. Not be stuck in a dead end job like this.
PAUL (Chuckling) They turned down your latest book, did they? The one aboutÖ what was it, Brain eating monkeys?
Everyone laughs, except for Hal.
HAL (to Paul) Shut upÖ and they were zombie monkeys, well not exactly zombies butÖ doesnÃÂt matter! I donÃÂt see you doing any better, Paul. YouÃÂre the one that wanted to be an Aeronautics engineer for NASA.
CINDY I wanted to be a musician for the London symphony orchestra.
WILL And I wanted to be George LucasàLimo Driver. That man is a godÖ
Everyone is off in their own world, their eyes all dreamy as they SIGH.
Suddenly this beautiful and striking woman appears at the water jug. HalÃÂs eyes are diverted to her. He stares as if entranced in her beauty.
She looks around in an awkward manner, standing there sipping her drink. She sees Hal looking at her. She then smiles and gives Hal a shy wave.
Hal is freaked out and pulls his head below the cubicle wall in a snap. Cindy, Paul, and Will all see her waving and they wave back.
They all look at Hal hiding behind the wall.
WILL You big pansy!
CINDY SheÃÂs right there all aloneÖ go talk to her.
HAL (Frightened) I canÃÂtÖ
PAUL YouÃÂre going to die alone, you know that? An old man, withering away.
CINDY Shut up, shut upÖ
Suddenly a snazzy looking man holding a cup of coffee walks up to the four friends. His name is JERRY.
JERRY So what is this, some sort of office party? I wasnÃÂt invited, whoÃÂs the B-Day Boy or GirlÖ
Suddenly Jerry starts laughing, a strange laugh as if he though he were some sort of comic. No one else laughs, just looking at him strangely. Jerry sees this and his cocky smile turns into an angry frown, slightly angry.
JERRY (to Hal) Did you get the memo about the DP documents, Hal?
HAL (Defensive) Yeah.
JERRY (Sipping on coffee) Goooooood.
Jerry suddenly looks towards the water jug and sees Fiora standing there, looking around awkwardly. Jerry looks at her intrigued, one eye brow above the other, ready to pounce on his prey.
JERRY (to self) Fine specimenÖ
Jerry then walks over to Fiora. He laughs at something he said, and Fiora does a fake laugh. He points to his office, as if he needs to talk to her. She nods her head and goes with him, but not before looking at Hal and giving him a shy wave. Hal doesnÃÂt react.
PAUL I hate himÖ
HAL How am I supposed to compete with a man like Jerry?
CINDY Trust me Jerry isnÃÂt a man.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE BUILDING ñ JERRYÃÂS OFFICE ñ DAY
Fiora is sitting in front of Jerry as he sits in his desk. HeÃÂs going through some papers.
JERRY I must say that youÃÂve been doing an exceptional job here. YouÃÂre reports are always in on time, and, well what can I say, youÃÂre strikingly beautifulÖ for a human that is.
Suddenly JerryÃÂs face turns into something else. HeÃÂs an alien and a disgusting one at that.
Suddenly through the cracks in the door, a light appears like a scanner in a photocopier. Something strange is going on in that office.
Just outside the office is Hal, photocopying something, the light seems to resemble what was coming through the crack of the doors. Hal looks strangely at the door of JerryÃÂs office.
He decides to open the door and sees Jerry sitting backwards. Jerry turns around and Hal sees that Jerry is an alien.
Hal screams out.
JERRY (Confused) What is it? Do I have something on my tie?
Hal canÃÂt move. He just stares at Jerry, with his alien face, whoÃÂs trying to wipe something off his tie.
JERRY Ugh, IÃÂll try at the bathroom.
Hal is hyperventilating as Jerry passes Hal at the door to go to the bathroom. Hal stands in shock.
Hal takes a look at JerryÃÂs desk, and for some reason is drawn to a stone on the desk. He reaches for it and stares at it. It looks foreign. He puts it into his pocket.
He then sees a pad on JerryÃÂs desk. ItÃÂs a ìto doî list.
To do list: -Bother Hal -Get DP Documents Done -Flirt with Lunch Lady -Eat Lunch -Bother Hal Again -Flirt with Fiora -Kidnap Fiora and make her my bride -Execute plans for world Domination and Enslavement -Do Yoga Program that Mother gave you
Hal then rips the sheet off of the pad and puts it into his pocket as well and he runs out of the office.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE BUILDING ñ BATHROOM
Jerry is at the sink trying to get the stain off his tie. He still has his alien face on.
We hear a FLUSH and someone comes out of the stalls. He goes to wash his hands and begins, but then is mortified and canÃÂt move from what heÃÂs seeing.
Jerry then looks up and sees the man, but then into the mirror.
JERRY OhhhÖ
Jerry sees his face and then suddenly changes it back into a human face.
JERRY (Laughing) I must have looked like an idiot.
Jerry smiles and pats the man on the shoulder as if nothing were wrong.
The man is left mortified and unable to move.
CUT TO:
INT. HALÃÂS HOUSE ñ BASEMENT ñ NIGHT
HalÃÂs three friends, Cindy, Paul and Will are all sitting down on a couch, watching TV, drinking a beer.
Hal comes into the scene and sits down as well. He drinks a beer and begins watching what theyÃÂre all watching.
HAL So JerryÃÂs an alien.
They all still watch the TV.
CINDY That actually explains a lot.
PAUL Bastard.
WILL Now itÃÂll be weird working with him, knowing that and all.
HAL He also kidnapped Fiora and heÃÂs planning to enslave all of earth with his bosses.
Everyone looks shocked.
Hal hands everyone the ìTo Doî list.
WILL WonÃÂt that hurt moral in the office?
HAL I donÃÂt give a ratÃÂs ass about moral! Guys, we have to do something!
CINDY Well what do you propose we do? TheyÃÂre aliens Hal!
HAL I donÃÂt know, but I canÃÂt let Jerry make Fiora his bride.
Suddenly thereÃÂs live breaking news on the television.
News Reporter WeÃÂre sorry to interrupt the football game with this live breaking news. But aliens are invading earth. I repeat aliens are invading earth.
Several images go onto the screen of ships flying everywhere, destroying buildings and tanks from the army. Aliens are walking up and down streets in formation with ray guns, and firing at humans that oppose them.
News Reporter ItÃÂs suspected that theyÃÂve been slowly invading our planet for years, using an insurance company, called A.E.E., or Aliens Enslaving Earth, and with the help of other humans and specialized DP Documents, theyÃÂve taken over several key institutes on the planet, leaving them in complete control. Not to mention they have friginàbig ray guns. The mother ship appears to be hovering on top of the A.E.E. building, but the army has had no success in taking it down.
We see a clip of the mother ship on the A.E.E. building and tanks trying to shoot it down with no success.
News Reporter The leader of these aliens has a message for all humans. ìWeÃÂre all screwedî WILL Well this sucksÖ
CUT TO:
INT. A.E.E. OFFICE BUILDING ñ HALÃÂS CUBICLE - DAY
Hal is working on his computer. Suddenly he decides to take a break and get some coffee. As he goes by, several aliens with ray guns pass him. He acts like this is normal. He then looks shifty eyes around and then runs to the exit.
CUT TO:
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING ñ ROOF ñ DAY
The door to the roof bashes open and all four of them run through and line up, looking up at the ship.
We see all four of them are combat ready. The three guys are wearing their ties on their foreheads like bandanas. TheyÃÂre all standing with confidence in their fighter stances. Will is holding a stapler, ready to shoot staples. Hal is holding a baseball bat. Paul is holding a keyboard, ready to use it as a bat, and Cindy is holding a mouse, holding it by the wire and twirling it around.
WILL This is so Star Wars.
PAUL So how do we do this?
HAL WeÃÂre going to go inside. Paul, youÃÂre the tech guy, so naturally youÃÂre going to hack into the mainframe, do something fancy like in Independence Day and save the planet.
PAUL Simple enough.
HAL Will is going to go with you. Cindy will go with me and weÃÂll find Fiora, stop Jerry and whoever stands in our way, and then weÃÂll reconvene and then get the hell out of there.
CINDY Sounds good, except for one thingÖ how do we get in there?
A beat.
HAL I didnÃÂt really think that farÖ
WILL What if we just taunt them? Get them angry. Make them suck us up. You know, they do their beam thing like in Star TrekÖ
CINDY WouldnÃÂt they just blast us to oblivion if we pissed them off?
WILL (to ship) Hey you stinking aliens! ThatÃÂs right! You stink! And youÃÂre ugly with your green slime oozing everywhere! I think youÃÂre mothers are cows and probably taste like them too!
CINDY (Worried) Shut up!
WILL I fart in your general direction!
Will then turns around and bends over, but doesnÃÂt pull his pants down.
During this time Hal reaches into his pocket and remembers the stone. He pulls it out. He points it towards the ship, and it begins to glow and suddenly a beam engulfs them. They are sucked up.
CUT TO:
INT. ALIEN SHIP
Everything is colorful and strange. Some things seem to be alive and some seem to be technological. Things are alive and pulsating.
The four of them suddenly appear out of nowhere on the ship. Will is still bent over, but quickly gets up embarrassed. They look around at this strange new place.
HAL Alright, now letÃÂs split up and do our thing.
CUT TO:
INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ HALLWAY
Paul and Will sneak down a dark hallway and quickly go against a wall to hide as two armed aliens walk by the perpendicular hallway. They didnÃÂt see the two humans.
Paul and Will then get up and run across that lit hallway to another dark hallway and hide around the corner.
WILL I feel like Luke Skywalker right now. ìIÃÂm Luke Skywalker; IÃÂm here to rescue you. IÃÂm with Obi-Wan Kenobi.î
PAUL Shut up or youÃÂll get us both killedÖ
Will sees something and points.
WILL ThereÖ
They both walk up to it. ItÃÂs some sort of computer terminal with a screen and keyboard.
On a closer inspection Paul realizes that the keyboard has weird random symbols that he doesnÃÂt understand.
WILL Looks like Aurebesh. The star wars symbols.
PAUL So you can read it?
WILL No stupid. Star Wars isnÃÂt real.
PAUL Then shut the hell up and let me think.
Will sees that Paul is holding a keyboard for a weapon.
WILL Why donÃÂt you just plug that in?
PAUL (Frustrated) Does it look like it has a USB port!?
WILL Right there.
Paul looks, and like Will said, there was a USB port.
PAUL OhÖ
He plugs it in and begins to type, and brings up several different windows on the screen.
CUT TO:
INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ MAIN DECK
Fiora is there, struggling as sheÃÂs restrained in some sort of force field. She seems weak. ThereÃÂs an alien there with a tie and white collar shirt. We can tell its Jerry. Jerry is sipping a cup of coffee.
JERRY Oh donÃÂt worry. You wonÃÂt feel a thing. Once I suck your brains out to implant this new one that is.
Fiora hears this and she tries to scream, but she canÃÂt.
Hal and Cindy are in a small dark corner, listening to all of this. Hal wants to go out and attack Jerry, but Cindy pulls back.
Jerry leaves the room, sipping his cup of coffee.
Hal and Cindy suddenly run out of their dark corner into the empty room that looks like a strange lab with glass tubes and instruments everywhere.
Hal and Cindy go up to Fiora. Fiora looks confused, and a bit relieved.
HAL DonÃÂt worry Fiora; weÃÂre going to get you out.
CINDY (to Hal) How do we do that?
Hal looks around and looks at where the force field is being generated, and he takes his bat and hits it very hard.
Nothing. The bat just bounces off of it and the vibrations go to HalÃÂs hands and he cringes in pain. Hall tires again, but the same result, and again.
While Hall is doing this, Cindy goes behind the device and pulls out a plug from the socket. The force field breaks and Fiora falls.
FIORA Oh Hal, youÃÂre my Hero. I thought I was going to die for sure.
HAL (Lower voice) A manÃÂs gotta do what a manÃÂs gotta do.
Cindy rolls her eyes.
CINDY Hey Romeo, letÃÂs get out of here, shall we?
HAL (Lower voice) LetÃÂs blow this joint.
CINDY Will you quit it with that?
HAL Sorry.
The three of them run out of the room.
CUT TO:
INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ HALLWAY (ContÃÂd)
Paul is still typing at the computer with his keyboard.
PAUL I donÃÂt know what I did, but I think I did it. Maybe.
WILL How can you tell?
PAUL That squiggly line goes with that squiggly line. And I think I just lined them up perfectly.
WILL Do you have any idea what youÃÂre doing?
PAUL Not a clue.
WILL Alright thenÖ weÃÂre all screwed.
As Paul keeps typing, suddenly it goes to a blue crash screen from window saying ìYou have performed an illegal operation.î
Paul canÃÂt stand it and he yells out loud. He yanks his keyboard, ripping the cord, and starts to slam it onto the console over and over again.
PAUL WhyÖ wonÃÂtÖ youÖ work!?! Suddenly an alarm goes off and red lights flash on and off everywhere. Paul stops and they both look around confused.
WILL What did you do?
Suddenly a recorded womanÃÂs voice is heard over the loud speakers in an alien language. ItÃÂs repeated in English.
Loud Speaker The self-destruct sequence will initiate in 5 minutes and counting. Have a nice day.
PAUL (Ecstatic) We did it!
Both Paul and Will jump up and down in joy.
Suddenly two armed aliens see them.
Paul and Will scream and run down the hall as the ray guns fire at them.
CUT TO:
INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ HALLWAY
Cindy, Fiora and Hal are all running down a hallway when they suddenly meet up with Paul and Will running towards them.
PAUL Run the other way!
The two armed guards suddenly appear around the corner and begin to fire, missing.
They all run down the hallway, turning and weaving and going everywhere. They hide around a corner and the guards pass them. They sigh in relief.
JERRY (o.c.) So what is this, some sort of office party?
Jerry laughs.
They all turn around, mortified. ThereÃÂs Jerry holding a ray gun to them.
Suddenly Paul hits Jerry with his keyboard and Jerry falls to the ground.
PAUL HowÃÂs that for DP reports?! BitchÖ
LOUD SPEAKER The self-destruct sequence will initiate in 1 minute, so if youÃÂre planning to get off this piece of junk, I suggest doing it now before youÃÂre blow into oblivion. Have a nice day.
HAL LetÃÂs go!
They all run down a corridor and find themselves where they started off. Hall pulls out his rock and it light up, and they disappear.
CUT TO:
EXT. OFFICE BIULDING ñ ROOF - DAY
They re-appear on the roof and they run down the stairs with all their might.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREETS - DAY
They run out of the building and onto the street finally arrive to the picket line where there are tanks and people everywhere.
Suddenly the ship explodes and the building is engulfed in a fiery explosion and collapses.
The crowd cheers in excitement.
HAL We did it!
Hal and Fiora look at each other smiling, and they kiss.
Cindy and Paul look at each other, shrug, and kiss.
Will look around and sees a beautiful girl. He smiles and approaches her. She runs away in fear.
Suddenly news reporters and cameraÃÂs surround them. One reporter puts a microphone to the group.
REPORTER HowÃÂs it feel to have saved the planet from all enslavement?
HAL (Low voice) ItÃÂs a tough job, but somebodyÃÂs gotta do it.
Hal smiles a cocky smile.
CUT TO:
Credits
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