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Author Topic: HIDDEN MEMORIES  (Read 13519 times)
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djr33

« on: April 03, 2006, 09:02:28 PM »

EDIT: This is now officially the production thread for HIDDEN MEMORIES... filming this weekend... /EDIT





Well... I've got an assignment for english to write a fictional story, and I have my new camera. I also have some actors (cousin, her friend, aunt, uncle) in town and I figured why not make a script (as my teacher suggested, actually) and make a film.

So... we're spending class tomorrow writing. I'll check in on this thread for your thoughts before I start doing so.

Lemme know what you think. Here's the rough outline:


A man blinks in confusion as the room comes into focus. The room is bare, with white walls and a desk. The man on the other side of the desk is apparently a policeman, and asking him questions.
OFFICER: "Do you remember anything about this morning?"
MAN: (holding ice-pack to his head) "My head still hurts... everything's blurry."
OFFICER: "Can you try to remember some details?"
MAN: "Umm... alright. Let's see. I remember getting ready for work. Oh, yeah. I was walking to work. I... hmmm... I can't really remember anything after that."
(This and the rest of the Man's memories are accompanied by montages of images as they flow through his head.)
OFFICER: "Nothing? Your sure!?"
MAN: (Shaking head) "No..." (groan from pain)
OFFICER: "We found you unconcious in an alley."
MAN: "Alley?"
OFFICER: "Yes."
Montage of memories.... "Hmm... I was walking to work.... and... hmmm...." More images "...I..." Shaking head "...Oh, I remember now. There was this girl. I saw her down the alley..."
OFFICER: (slightly more alert) "A girl?"
MAN: "Yeah. I noticed her right away. Now I remember." Clear image of her.
OFFICER: "Anything after that?"
MAN: "I'm not sure. I can't think clearly right now. Can we take a break and finish later?"
OFFICER: "I feel it is crucial to finish now. Perhaps a glass of water?"
MAN: "No, I'll be alright." (struggling) "Alright... I was walking to work, and there was this girl in an alley. I think... hmm... I can't seem to remember anything after that. It feels like there's something there, but I just can't get to it."
OFFICER: "You can't remember anything after that?"
MAN shakes his head.
OFFICER: "Do you remember how you ended up in the alley?"
MAN: "You're pushing me too hard. My head still hurts. I..."
OFFICER: "It's crucial that I have this information now."
MAN: (uncomfortable from pain) "why?.. oh, fine... I... It's so close, but I can't seem to get there.... I... remember... hmm... the girl... I think I followed her into the alley."
OFFICER: "Why?"
MAN: "I.... I don't remember."
OFFICER: "Could you go through it just one more time?"
MAN: "...Alright... Let's see [recaps story, with visuals]..."
MAN: "...Then..." Montage of something dark... images of shadows, etc.
OFFICER: "Yes?"
MAN: (a bit more sure of himself) "I can't... just not clear" The images, on the other hand, are very clear, of the woman being attacked by the officer who is interrogating the man and another Younger Officer.
OFFICER: (becoming angry) "Nothing!?"
MAN: "No... I..."
He dives across the table.
He and the Officer struggle, rolling over each other on the ground.
The fray is a mess, but the Man emerges with the gun and points it at the Officer.
:Knock: :Knock: Cut to outside the door.
YOUNGER OFFICER: "You alright? I heard a crash." Silence. "Sir?"
He opens the door slowly and walks in, gun drawn.
He looks around and steps further in.
The Man steps out from behind the wall of the door, pointing the Officer's gun at the Younger Officer's back.
MAN: "Drop it!"
The Young Officer does as he is told.
MAN: (pointing) "In the corner, with your friend."
Cut to credits.
(possibly) As credits roll, a 911 call from the man reporting both kidnappings and calling for medical and police assistance is heard.
« Last Edit: April 06, 2006, 01:33:07 AM by djr33 » Logged
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Sage

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« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2006, 09:32:31 PM »

Well, I very much like it.  Up until the very end that is.  Two things stuck out at me.  1)  You need a stronger ending.  2)  Having him attack the cop that soon doesn't make too much sense.  I'd lead a little more into the story first.  Maybe show him doing something really horrible and that way you can justify him attacking a police officer.  I know he did bad by the girl, but it's got to be WAY worse...  I mean, worse as in lead the audience into it.  Give enough background to make me WANT to see the guy attack the cop.

Sage H.
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djr33

« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2006, 09:35:04 PM »

Do you get the script?

I mean... the protagonist is the good guy... the cop is the bad guy...
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Sage

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« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2006, 09:48:05 PM »

:lol:

WOW.  You really just said that, didn't you?

Ha.

Sage H.
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djr33

« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2006, 09:51:46 PM »

Quote
Give enough background to make me WANT to see the guy attack the cop.


Now that we've chatted, I get it.
Thanks.

Rogue was helpful too.

As was starwalker.

Anyway.... more?



At the moment:
make them detectives.. makes more sense, easier to film/get costumes for.
expand the ending a bit.
fix the dialogue(!)

All taken into account. Will be fixed.
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djr33

« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2006, 10:21:15 AM »

Alright. Here's the script... just wrote it up.

I like it a lot more.

It's exactly 6 pages, so that should be a good timeframe. It'll probably be faster in film.... about 5 minutes.


Here it is:
HIDDEN MEMORIES
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djr33

« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2006, 09:53:12 AM »

Update... fixed a couple things.... nothing major.
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scriptcoder

« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2006, 02:28:56 PM »

Hey that was cool. I could actually visualize the scene. And the dialogue was realistic.

Good luck. If you stick to the script it'll be a good one. Smiley  
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djr33

« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2006, 10:24:42 PM »

Filming went great. Actors did very well and location was cool. More to film on Sunday, but shouldn't be too bad, as long as the rain isn't too evil.


So... some stills!
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djr33

« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2006, 10:27:51 PM »

Another!
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djr33

« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2006, 10:29:46 PM »

This is Sam, playing the protagonist.
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djr33

« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2006, 10:31:13 PM »

Knock Knock!
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djr33

« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2006, 10:32:47 PM »

This is (my uncle) Mark, playing the Detective.



...more soon, but don't want to give too much away yet.
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djr33

« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2006, 10:35:33 PM »

...But don't forget this shot.
Random, but cool, I say.
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FCRabbath

« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2006, 04:03:24 AM »

looks like Canon GL1 or 2
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