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Author Topic: Short, with a cool car...  (Read 5503 times)
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djr33

« on: March 04, 2006, 10:50:08 PM »

I'm planning to film a short tomorrow.
I've had my idea for a looooooong time, but never had the chance to do it.
It calls for having a nice car, and haven't had access to one. My grandpa's in town, so that will work great. He'll also be in it... fun Smiley

Here it is:


DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT AWAY-- CONTAINS A TWIST...

There's a man sitting in his car, reading the paper.

Through the window of the car, you see another man running down the street, in a black suit, with sunglasses.

This man sees a young woman and shows her his wallet, with, the viewer assumes, an FBI ID card, as he identifies himself as an FBI agent.

MAN
Have you seen a man who is 5'10", with Brown hair, [etc.]?

She replies that she has, and points down the street.

He looks, then turn to the man in the car, telling him he needs to borrow his car.

The man in the car looks a bit worried, but the man in the suit says:

MAN
I'll return it without a scratch.


The man in the car agrees, then the man in the suit asks the girl to accompany him to help identify the subject.

She agrees, seemingly semi-unwillingly.

INTERIOR SHOT
Girl turns to Guy

GIRL
I can't believe it worked. He bought it!

EXTERIOR SHOT
Man watches his car drive away.

CUT TO:
Interior of the car, driving on the freeway(?), looks like it's going fast.

Man turns to the girl; they high five.

BOTH
"YEAH!!!! It worked!!!" (Or something like that...)

(There was nothing in the guy's wallet, but her reaction as if he did have something makes the man think that he did, etc.)

ROLL CREDITS.

FADE IN:
Man walks out of house.

He sees his car and notices a note attached to it on FBI letterhead. The word 'thanks' is written.

He smiles.

MAN
(quietly)
...Not a scratch....

Slow zoom out.

FADE OUT
« Last Edit: March 04, 2006, 11:12:49 PM by djr33 » Logged
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Mrdodobird

« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2006, 10:59:31 PM »

Hehe. Cute.

Wait... so they stole the car... then returned it?
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djr33

« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2006, 11:10:25 PM »

Wrong.

They borrowed it. Wink

It's a crime with no victims.

The kids get the car, the man gets to feel like he helped his country.

Smiley

(The script is now revised and more script-like... better formatting.. errors fixed, etc.)
« Last Edit: March 04, 2006, 11:10:38 PM by djr33 » Logged
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Mrdodobird

« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2006, 11:19:54 PM »

Yeah, give the kids motivation for wanting the car, and I'll be happy Cheesy Like, if they realized that neither of them had cars, and they needed a car to get to a party or something, that might be fun. It'd kinda negate the whole surprise twist thing, but it'd also be fun, just in that it'd be a fun way of getting a car.  
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djr33

« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2006, 11:25:12 PM »

It's short and to the point. I planned to make a longer movie to begin with, but as is, I don't think that would add... just make it too slow. I thought about it.... thanks, though.
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djr33

« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2006, 02:15:39 AM »

Going to bed... ready to film in the morning.

Sidenote:
This is the car we'll be using....
Click!
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Mrdodobird

« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2006, 10:16:46 AM »

Heh, alright. I just think there's a lot to be said for a little motivation. Even if it's short. As it is now... what's their motivation? Just to ride in the car? They commit two felonies (impersonating an FBI officer, and stealing a car), just cause they want to ride in the car?

That just kinda caught me off guard.

But I look forward to seeing the film Cheesy
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TechKrill



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« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2006, 12:24:52 PM »

I actually agree with Ian, the story is rather sudden. I'd just throw in a quick prelude of them needing to go to a hot party or something, and that's why they take the car. Not a fan of Cadillacs myself, but the convertible is hawt.
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djr33

« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2006, 01:45:35 PM »

Well, guys... here's what we got done.

I agree with you, but we can figure that out later.

There is actually no crime commited, techincally. I'll explain later.

Gotta run.

So.. here ya go:

Next Time: ~1mb, QT .mov. Sor3, AAC audio.

EDIT: file removed. See below for better quality. this was unwatchable.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2006, 07:42:17 PM by djr33 » Logged
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TechKrill



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« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2006, 05:57:58 PM »

...wtf?  :huh:  :shrug:  :hmmm:  :screwy:  
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starwalker

« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2006, 06:23:15 PM »

HAHAHA..dan, the lighting was horrible, I couldve done a better job...and thats saying something, haha.
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TechKrill



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« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2006, 07:19:01 PM »

To expand on my previous post...I had no earthly clue what the heck I was looking at...was that a trailer? Was that the film? I didn't get it...
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starwalker

« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2006, 07:23:47 PM »

I think he was just showing that his plans got ruined and he was making fun of himself and that fact that he couldnt shoot because of rain.
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djr33

« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2006, 07:41:10 PM »

Ugly compression. Fixing.

Watch again!

(starwalker's right... and... yeah... suppposed to be cheesy.)


Here ya go:
this time, 1.7mb. watchable, too.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2006, 07:43:38 PM by djr33 » Logged
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