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Author Topic: Back to Life: Script Revision and Final Planning  (Read 5793 times)
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TechKrill



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« on: January 04, 2006, 09:52:37 PM »

Yes, it's true, I've been working for the past 2 months in semi-secret to get this thing film-worthy. It's a great idea, funny, witty, just fun to work with. I went ahead and changed the script up, giving the characters a little more personality and giving the story some more flow. There was ONE scene that was completely out of place, the scene at their home, so I've marked it for reworking, but have since come up blank how to present that information.

Anyway, here's what I've got.

- Revised Script (nearly complete)
- Film Crew
- Actors
- Effects Shot List and Descriptions
- An eager team ready to shoot this sucker

We're willing to shoot the film, and plan on doing so in the next few weeks, and then I'll turn you guys loose on it to finish it up. We need effects teams and perhaps sound editors, etc. Jose Rojas is a very accomplished editor, my partner in crime at JD Video, so he has voulenteered to edit it...but honestly, neither one of us is very good at sound, so that's where you come in.

Effects also need to be done...and the reason I'm announcing this publicly is because I think it should stay a community project more than just something I'm swiping and using myself. That's not entirely fair. So yea...anyway...here's the latest version of the script.


=============


My Boss is an Alien from Outer Space
Screenplay by Jonathan Starr
Revised by Dan Gast


   SCENE ONE: AMGIBUOUS - DAY

Fade to an office building, as the camera pans down and through the office cubicle itself, taking in small trinkets and fiddly bits of the user. Pan past the nameplate, HAL HOUSTON, on the desk in front of the computer. Pan around to a man, hearing the bustle of activity, he leans forward to type on his computer. Suddenly, there is the sound of a whoosh of air. He looks up suddenly, silence around him.

Camera pulls back to reveal the cubicle is in the middle of an open field. The man stands up and looks around, confused. In the distance, a scream is heard from a damsel in distress. He looks down suddenly to his left and raises a sword. He then looks determenedly and walks toward the sound.

He walks through this beautiful misty, supernatural looking forest. Plants are purple and green and yellow, mist seems to come from the trees, strange creatures run around everywhere, it looks to be daytime, but itís still very dark and gloomy.

The man with the sword finds an entrance to a large and dark cave. Inside it appears to be bright by fire.

You can hear a woman SCREAMING and fire EXPLODING.

The man creeps up to the cave carefully.

   MAN
   Iím coming Fiora!

He runs into the cave, itís huge and deep, with a turn near the end. Suddenly, from that corner, a huge dragon walks in with LOUD FOOTSTEPS. The dragon looks at the man and puffs out a puff of smoke.

The man look terrified when suddenly the dragon breathes fire towards the man. We follow in the fire along for a ride as it rushes towards the man and it hitís his shield which he brought up to protect him.

Everything is engulfed in flames as we FLASH CUT TO:



   SCENE TWO: INT. OFFICER BUILDING ñ CUBICLE ñ DAY

The man we saw in the previous scene, whoís name is HAL, is wearing the same thing, the white collar stripped shirt and tie and is staring off into space, hands absently on the keyboard.

Small pieces of metal keep hitting him, which makes him flinch each time. He finally snaps his head up from his sleep and looks at the man doing it in disgust.

   HAL
   Quit it!

Another man in a white collar shirt and tie, named WILL, is chewing gum and is holding a stapler, shooting Hal with the staples. He stops.

   WILL
   Did you get memo?

   HAL
   What memo?

A girl named Cindy, and a guy named Paul walk up to Halís cubicle.

   CINDY
   The one about the new cover pages we have to use for the DP documents.

   PAUL
   Really?... Jerry is out of control, changing system procedures here, switching document DP covers. Whatís next?

A beat.

   HAL
   Ya know...Is this what you guys always thought you would end up doing in life?

   CINDY
   Here we go again.

   HAL
   I mean I always thought I would be traveling the world, become a famous writer. Not be stuck in a dead end job like this...formatting...DP document covers...

   PAUL
   (Chuckling)
   They turned down your latest book, huh?

Everyone laughs, except for Hal.

   HAL (to Paul)
   Shut upÖ it was an amazing story butÖ doesnít matter! I donít see you doing any better, Paul. Youíre the one that wanted to be an Aeronautical   engineer for NASA.

   CINDY
   I wanted to be first violin for the London symphony orchestra...

   WILL
   I wanted to be George Lucasí Limo Driver. That man is a godÖ

Everyone glances over at Will, who is staring into space with a slight grin.

Suddenly this beautiful and striking woman appears at the water jug. Halís eyes are diverted to her. He stares as if entranced in her beauty.

She looks around in an awkward manner, standing there sipping her drink. She sees Hal looking at her. She then smiles and gives Hal a shy wave.

Hal is freaked out and pulls his head below the cubicle wall in a snap. Cindy, Paul, and Will all see her waving and they wave back.

They all look at Hal hiding behind the wall.

   WILL
   Pansy...

   CINDY
   Sheís right there all aloneÖ go talk to her.

   HAL
   (Frightened)
   I canítÖ

   PAUL
   Youíre going to die alone, you know that? An old man, withering away.

Suddenly a snazzy looking man holding a cup of coffee walks up to the four friends. His name is JERRY.

   JERRY
   So what is this, coffee break?

Suddenly Jerry starts laughing, a strange laugh as if he though he were some sort of comic. No one else laughs, just looking at him strangely. Jerry sees this and his cocky smile turns into an angry frown, slightly angry.

   JERRY (to Hal)
   Did you get the memo about the DP documents, Hal?

   HAL
   (Defensive)
   Yeah.

   JERRY
   (Sipping on coffee)
   Goooooood.

Jerry suddenly looks towards the water jug and sees Fiora standing there, looking around awkwardly. Jerry looks at her intrigued, one eye brow above the other, ready to pounce on his prey.

   JERRY (to self)
   Fine specimenÖ

Jerry then walks over to Fiora. He laughs at something he said, and Fiora does a fake laugh. He points to his office, as if he needs to talk to her. She nods her head and goes with him, but not before looking at Hal and giving him a shy wave. Hal doesnít react.

   PAUL
   I hate himÖ

   HAL
   How am I supposed to compete with a man like Jerry?

   CINDY
   Honey...Jerry is NOT a man...

CUT TO:



   SCENE THREE: INT. OFFICE BUILDING ñ JERRYíS OFFICE ñ DAY

Fiora is sitting in front of Jerry as he sits in his desk. Heís going through some papers.

   JERRY
   I must say that youíve been doing an exceptional job here. Youíre reports are always in on time, and, well what can I say, youíre strikingly beautiful...

Cut to outside the office.

Suddenly through the cracks in the door, a light appears like a scanner in a photocopier. Something strange is going on in that office.

Just outside the office is Hal, photocopying something, the light seems to resemble what was coming through the crack of the doors. Hal looks strangely at the door of Jerryís office.

He decides to open the door and sees Jerry sitting backwards. Jerry turns around and Hal sees that Jerry is an alien.

Hal screams out.

   JERRY
   (Confused)
   What is it? Do I have something on my tie?

Hal canít move. He just stares at Jerry, with his alien face, whoís trying to wipe something off his tie.

   JERRY
   Ugh, Iíll try at the bathroom.

Hal is hyperventilating as Jerry passes Hal at the door to go to the bathroom. Hal stands in shock.

Hal takes a look at Jerryís desk, and for some reason is drawn to a stone on the desk. He reaches for it and stares at it. It looks foreign. He puts it into his pocket.

He then sees a pad on Jerryís desk. Itís a ìto doî list.

To do list:
-Bother Hal (checked)
-Bother Hal Again
-Flirt with Fiora (checked)
-Kidnap Fiora and make her my bride (checked)
-Execute World Domination (circled)

Hal then rips the sheet off of the pad and puts it into his pocket as well and he runs out of the office.

CUT TO:



   SCENE FOUR: INT. OFFICE BUILDING ñ BATHROOM

Jerry is at the sink trying to get the stain off his tie. He still has his alien face on.

We hear a FLUSH and someone comes out of the stalls. He goes to wash his hands and begins, but then is mortified and canít move from what heís seeing.

Jerry then looks up and sees the man, but then into the mirror.

   JERRY
   OhhhÖ

Jerry sees his face and then suddenly changes it back into a human face.

   JERRY
   (Laughing)
   I must have looked like an idiot.

Jerry smiles and pats the man on the shoulder as if nothing were wrong.

The man is left mortified and unable to move.

CUT TO:

-----------------------> RE-EDIT!!!! Scene needs to be reworked

INT. HALíS HOUSE ñ BASEMENT ñ NIGHT

Halís three friends, Cindy, Paul and Will are all sitting down on a couch, watching TV, drinking a beer.

Hal comes into the scene and sits down as well. He drinks a beer and begins watching what theyíre all watching.

HAL
So Jerryís an alien.

They all still watch the TV.

CINDY
That actually explains a lot.

PAUL
Bastard.

WILL
Now itíll be weird working with him, knowing that and all.

HAL
He also kidnapped Fiora and heís planning to enslave all of earth with his bosses.

Everyone looks shocked.

Hal hands everyone the ìTo Doî list.

WILL
Wonít that hurt moral in the office?

HAL
I donít give a ratís ass about moral! Guys, we have to do something!

CINDY
Well what do you propose we do? Theyíre aliens Hal!

HAL
I donít know, but I canít let Jerry make Fiora his bride.

Suddenly thereís live breaking news on the television.

News Reporter
Weíre sorry to interrupt the football game with this live breaking news. But aliens are invading earth. I repeat aliens are invading earth.

Several images go onto the screen of ships flying everywhere, destroying buildings and tanks from the army. Aliens are walking up and down streets in formation with ray guns, and firing at humans that oppose them.

News Reporter
Itís suspected that theyíve been slowly invading our planet for years, using an insurance company, called A.E.E., or Aliens Enslaving Earth, and with the help of other humans and specialized DP Documents, theyíve taken over several key institutes on the planet, leaving them in complete control. Not to mention they have friginí big ray guns. The mother ship appears to be hovering on top of the A.E.E. building, but the army has had no success in taking it down.

We see a clip of the mother ship on the A.E.E. building and tanks trying to shoot it down with no success.

News Reporter
The leader of these aliens has a message for all humans. ìYou're all screwedî

WILL
Well this sucksÖ

CUT TO:

<---------------------------------



   SCENE SIX: INT. A.E.E. OFFICE BUILDING ñ HALíS CUBICLE - DAY

Hal is working on his computer. Suddenly he decides to take a break and get some coffee. As he goes by, several aliens with ray guns pass him. He acts like this is normal. He then looks shifty eyes around and then runs to the exit.

CUT TO:



   SCENE SEVEN: EXT. OFFICE BUILDING ñ ROOF ñ DAY

The door to the roof bashes open and all four of them run through and line up, looking up at the ship.

We see all four of them are combat ready. The three guys are wearing their ties on their foreheads like bandanas. Theyíre all standing with confidence in their fighter stances. Will is holding a stapler, ready to shoot staples. Hal is holding a baseball bat. Paul is holding a keyboard, ready to use it as a bat, and Cindy is holding a mouse, holding it by the wire and twirling it around.

   WILL
   I feel like Harrison Ford...

   PAUL
   So how do we do this?

   HAL
   Weíre going to go inside. Paul, youíre the tech guy, so youíre going to hack into the mainframe, do something fancy like in Independence Day and save the planet.

   PAUL
   Got it.

   HAL
   Will is going to go with you. Cindy will go with me and weíll find Fiora, stop Jerry and whoever stands in our way, and then weíll, uh, rendezvous, and uh, and then get the heck out of there.

   CINDY
   Sounds good, except for one thingÖ how do we get in there?

A beat.

   HAL
   Uh...

   PAUL
   What if we just taunt them? Get them angry. Make them suck us up. You know, they do their beam thing like in Star TrekÖ

   CINDY (sarcasticly)
   What if they shoot us?

   PAUL (to ship)
   Hey you stinking aliens! Thatís right! You stink! And youíre ugly with your green slime oozing everywhere! I think youíre mothers are cows and probably taste like them too!

   CINDY
   (Worried)
   Shut up!

   PAUL
   I fart in your general direction!

Will then turns around and bends over, but doesnít pull his pants down.

During this time Hal reaches into his pocket and remembers the stone. He pulls it out. He points it towards the ship, and it begins to glow and suddenly a beam engulfs them. They are sucked up.

CUT TO:



   SCENE EIGHT: INT. ALIEN SHIP

Everything is colorful and strange. Some things seem to be alive and some seem to be technological. Things are alive and pulsating.

The four of them suddenly appear out of nowhere on the ship. Will is still bent over, but quickly gets up embarrassed. They look around at this strange new place.

They all are mildly shocked at the transition, but breathing resumes normally.

   HAL
   Okay, uh, let's do it!

CUT TO:



   SCENE NINE: INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ HALLWAY

Paul and Will sneak down a dark hallway and quickly go against a wall to hide as two armed aliens walk by the perpendicular hallway. They didnít see the two humans.

Paul and Will then get up and run across that lit hallway to another dark hallway and hide around the corner.

   WILL
   ÃƒÂ¬Iím Luke Skywalker; Iím here to rescue you. Iím with Obi-Wan Kenobi.î

   PAUL
   Shut up...

Will sees something and points.

   WILL
   Look!

They both walk up to it. Itís some sort of computer terminal with a screen and keyboard.

On a closer inspection Paul realizes that the keyboard has weird random symbols that he doesnít understand.

   PAUL
   Looks like that Star Wars language!

   WILL
   So you can read it?

   PAUL
   No stupid. Star Wars isnít real.

Paul stares frustratedly for a moment.

Will sees that Paul is holding a keyboard for a weapon.

   WILL
   Why donít you just plug that in?

   PAUL
   (Frustrated)
   Does it look like it has USB!?

   WILL (pointing)
   What's this?

Paul looks, and like Will said, there was a USB port.

   PAUL
   OhÖ

He plugs it in and begins to type, and brings up several different windows on the screen.

CUT TO:



   SCENE TEN: INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ MAIN DECK

Fiora is there, struggling as sheís restrained in some sort of force field. She seems weak. Thereís an alien there with a tie and white collar shirt. We can tell its Jerry. Jerry is sipping a cup of coffee.


   JERRY
   Oh donít worry. You wonít feel a thing. Once I suck your brains out to implant this new one that is.

Fiora hears this and she tries to scream, but she canít.

Hal and Cindy are in a small dark corner, listening to all of this. Hal wants to go out and attack Jerry, but Cindy pulls back.

Jerry leaves the room, sipping his cup of coffee.

Hal and Cindy suddenly run out of their dark corner into the empty room that looks like a strange lab with glass tubes and instruments everywhere.

Hal and Cindy go up to Fiora. Fiora looks confused, and a bit relieved.

   HAL
   Donít worry Fiora; weíre going to get you out.

   CINDY (to Hal)
   How do we do that?

Hal looks around and looks at where the force field is being generated, and he takes his bat and hits it very hard.

Nothing. The bat just bounces off of it and the vibrations go to Halís hands and he cringes in pain. Hall tires again, but the same result, and again.

While Hall is doing this, Cindy goes behind the device and pulls out a plug from the socket. The force field breaks and Fiora falls onto Hal, both of them landing on top of each other on the floor. A long break.

   FIORA
   Oh Hal, youíre my Hero. I thought it was the end for me.

   HAL
   (Lower voice)
   A manís gotta do what a manís gotta do.

Cindy rolls her eyes.

   CINDY
   Oh come on, you two.

   HAL
   (Lower voice)
   Letís blow this joint.

Hal gets up and heroically brings Fiora to his side from the ground. He poses for a moment.

The three of them run out of the room.

CUT TO:



   SCENE ELEVEN: INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ HALLWAY (Contíd)

Paul is still typing at the computer with his keyboard.

   PAUL
   I donít know what I did, but I think I did it. Maybe.

   WILL
   How can you tell?

   PAUL
   Well you see I'm fairly sure I just won at Pong...and then a bunch of red symbols came up and turned green...

   WILL
   Do you have any idea what youíre doing?

   PAUL
   Not a clue.

   WILL
   Alright thenÖ weíre all screwed.

As Paul keeps typing, suddenly it goes to a blue crash screen from Windows saying ìYou have performed an illegal operation.î

   Loud Speaker
   The self-destruct sequence will initiate in 5 minutes and counting. Have a nice day.

   PAUL
   (Ecstatic)
   We did it!

Both Paul and Will jump up and down in joy.

Suddenly two armed aliens see them.

Paul and Will scream and run down the hall as the ray guns fire at them.

CUT TO:



   SCENE TWELVE: INT. ALIEN SHIP ñ HALLWAY

Cindy, Fiora and Hal are all running down a hallway when they suddenly meet up with Paul and Will running towards them.

   PAUL
   Run the other way!

The two armed guards suddenly appear around the corner and begin to fire, missing.

They all run down the hallway, turning and weaving and going everywhere. They hide around a corner and the guards pass them. They sigh in relief.

   JERRY (o.c.)
   So what is this, a coffee break?

Jerry laughs.

They all turn around, mortified. Thereís Jerry holding a ray gun to them.

Suddenly Hal grabs Paul's keyboard and smashes it down on Jerry's head..

   HAL
   You can keep your DP reports...I quit...

   LOUD SPEAKER
   The self-destruct sequence will initiate in 1 minute, please plan the next 60 seconds of your life accordingly. Have a nice day.

They all run down a corridor and find themselves where they started off. Hall pulls out his rock and it light up, and they disappear.

CUT TO:



   SCENE THIRTEEN: EXT. OFFICE BIULDING ñ ROOF - DAY

They re-appear on the roof and they run down the stairs with all their might.

CUT TO:



   SCENE FOURTEEN: EXT. STREETS - DAY

They run out of the building and onto the street finally arrive to the picket line where there are tanks and people everywhere.

The ship explodes and wobbles on its hover, crashing onto the top of the A.E.E. building and sending flames everywhere.

The crowd cheers in excitement.

   HAL
   We did it!

Hal and Fiora look at each other smiling, and they kiss.

Cindy and Paul shake their heads, amused.

Hal and Fiora continue to kiss as the camera zooms way in, then zooms out, revealing they are in medeival costume and kissing with clapping medeival-clad people around them. Hal turns and holds Fiora close as applause rings out.

Hal smiles a cocky smile.

CUT TO:

Credits



===========


Yea...that's the script I had. Except for that middle scene (ideas welcome) I like it...I hope you do too. Anyway, the middle scene just doesn't fit as the WHOLE rest of the film is set in the office building or the alien ship...doesn't do to have a random scene at home. Maybe a rec room or something...

Anyway, ideas, we'll be brainstorming here as well.

Need an FX team...need a sound-editing team. Should be lots of fun Tongue
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djr33

« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2006, 09:57:35 PM »

So.... I'm really glad this project is still going.

I'll just make the note that, hopefully, everyone will be ready to keep going on the stuff they were working on.

I think justin was working on the Dragon. And I know Kirador was interested.

Anyway, good luck!
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Yodaman

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« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2006, 04:50:47 AM »

Finally. I thought this was dead for sure. Glad someone brought it back  Cheesy  
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I'm Yoda. I'm soldier. I mold ya, then fold ya, I thought I told ya. Don't be unwise, judge me not by my size. You won't believe your eyes. Watch the X-Wing rise.

http://www.swtales.tk' target='_blank'>Pain is temporary- Tales are Forever.
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djr33

« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2006, 11:19:06 PM »

I skimmed mostly, but I really don't get the end... medeival thing....
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TechKrill



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« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2006, 03:48:54 PM »

It links to the beginning, his imagination.
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djr33

« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2006, 05:10:29 PM »

ah... hmm... alright. Maybe make it be an insanely close zoom to his eyes, so its clear that its him, not both of them. I thoght it was actually some type of time travel, "they're ready for their next adventure together" thing... or a metaphor that they can handle anything.

Cool!
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Tyler



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« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2006, 06:24:28 PM »

I have some ideas...

*After Will (oh, how I love his character) mentions driving Lucas' limo, do like a brief and most random cut of him driving a limo, talking to Mr. Lucas (who's not seen, as he's behind the driver-passenger wall.  I dunno, just some random, funny comment by Will, and then cut back to the office where his coworkers are just staring at him.   :lol:

*We've discussed the broom closet scenes....   :cool:

*Perhaps show where Fiora goes.  She seemed to disappear (well, actually she did lol) and had no scenes in the middle of the film.

*When reach the roof, holding their makeshift weapons, have the camera move slowly across each character, Will of course being last.  Over the top action music is playing, as we see our heroes, wind blowing in their hair.  Naturally, Will spoils the action music by his line "I feel like Harrison Ford"....   :lol:

*Perhaps a chase scene, where Will and Paul run from the aliens.  This allows for more antics before they meet up with their friends.  I dunno, it'd be cool....

I can't remember anything elseright now.  I'll let you know.  These are just some of my ideas....
« Last Edit: January 09, 2006, 06:45:52 PM by Tyler » Logged

http://img370.imageshack.us/img370/3534/fakecello4qp.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
An IMDb user praising this "diverse" and "complex" music:
"Look at the incredible variety of themes he does - from Gladiator, a masterpiece, to Matchstick Men, a fun, jazzy style, then Pirates - a theme that moviegoers (however musically inclined they may be) will never forget. These scores are not only more diverse, but more complex as well."    :-\
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TechKrill



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« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2006, 01:19:21 PM »

Don't think I've forgotton about this, the actor we have to play Will is currently too busy to shoot so this film is on standby until he can get his stuff together and we'll film the thing. I rewrote the part of Will to fit this particular actor, so we kind of need him without a rewrite Smiley

Anyway, don't lose faith, this film is still slated to be filmed in the next month or two, just be patient Smiley
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Mrdodobird

« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2006, 06:53:47 PM »

Sweeet!

I dig it!

Cindy and Paul should kiss too, cause you know they want to.  
« Last Edit: March 04, 2006, 06:54:56 PM by Mrdodobird » Logged
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djr33

« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2006, 08:10:14 PM »

Sounds cool!

Keep us posted, especially when filming. Any pics of your actors as of yet?

Good suggestions, Tyler, I think...
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TechKrill



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« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2006, 12:19:31 PM »

I should get pics of the actors... the problem is, Cindy is being played by Kirsten...soon to be married Smiley I don't think her fiancee would be thrilled with her smooching Paul... I'd quickly lose good friend status, methinks...

Anywho, no worries, it should turn out well. Glad ppl are still thinking about it, if only passively Smiley
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Tyler



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« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2006, 04:37:42 PM »

^Hooray, an update!  I'm really hoping to see this project get started soon!
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http://img370.imageshack.us/img370/3534/fakecello4qp.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
An IMDb user praising this "diverse" and "complex" music:
"Look at the incredible variety of themes he does - from Gladiator, a masterpiece, to Matchstick Men, a fun, jazzy style, then Pirates - a theme that moviegoers (however musically inclined they may be) will never forget. These scores are not only more diverse, but more complex as well."    :-\
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